My most recent contribution to the Maraoke video game karaoke songlist – first performed by Frankie 14/08/2026.
This rewrite is about the 1987 Atari coin-op APB (All Points Bulletin), a top-down driving game which took a ‘satirical’ look at American policing.
The final chorus gag is accompanied by a montage of famous police officer characters from games including Jill Valentine, Cole Phelps and of course Mappy.
(The Siobhan Fahey parts are in italics. “Route” can be pronounced as per either side of the Atlantic, if you commit to it.)
“APB”
– after “Stay” By Shakespear’s Sister
When the road is beckoning
And you’re thinking of this game
Where you join the boys in blue
Head back to the arcade
Just put a quarter in the slot
You’ll be a policeman (a-eh)
A.P.B.
(A.P.B.)
A.P.B.
(A.P.B.)
From your sky high bird’s eye view
You won’t drive into the screen
Is this NYPD Blue?
Is this Dixon of Dock Green?
When you drive Car 54
We’ll make a big high score (oh oh)
A.P.B. (eee-he-he)
(A.P.B.)
A.P.B.
(A.P.B.)
You better hope and pray
that you drive real safe
on my patrol route
You better hope and pray
the rules stay obeyed
on my patrol route
‘Cause if the chief’s outside
He won’t hear your cries
for your phone call
If you tripped and fell
on the way to the cell
well that’s your own fault
[Break]
Haaaaaaaa!
A.C.A.B. (ooh)
(A…)
A.P.B.
(A.P.B.)
A.C.A.B. (oh ha ha)
(A.P.B.)
Play, play, play, play, play
(A.P.B.)
A.P.B.
(A.P.B.)
Tags: 1987, 1992, apb, arcade games, Atari, karaoke, L.A. Noire, Mappy, maraoke, Resident Evil, satire, shakespear's sister, stay
