Posted at 21:55 on 1st May 2019 - permalink

My latest contribution to the Marioke video game karaoke songlist – first performed 18/01/2019.

This has now been performed twice (to my knowledge) and both times introduced as “the worst song on the system” – what can I say, we aim to please. I wrote this because the ridiculous backing track to the Pharaoh’s Code level of Tetris Effect reminded me of the original. If you do pick it, please note that “tetrominos” is assumed to rhyme with “dominoes” with the stress on the first “o”. Good luck.

– after “Miracles” by Insane Clown Posse

We got a theory
Marioke, we got a theory
About stacking … Tetrominos
That’s right, that’s right

If Pajitnov‘s game was never known
Then would any of this have even caught on?
Now I see puzzle gaming every day
But there’s one puzzle game we all play
Pieces landing down from a height

Disappearing in lines if you shuffle ’em right
You don’t get to re-try if you stack ’em too high
And hope long tetrominos soon arrive
Look at the Esses, Zees, Ells Jays and Tees
The little square ones and the long thin ones, please!
Sometimes are … shaped … like gems … or cogs
Don’t need cutscenes or no dialogue
And I’ve played all of one thousand sequels
Including some that weren’t technically legal
Playing Tetris, since we were just kids
Played that shit till I got arthritis

The bus trip to school, or in your cars
We even play at fuckin’ Loading Bars
In your home
Or on your phone
On a Game Boy screen in monochrome
Those other games are derivative
Never won all the gongs Tetris did
Eurogamer, gave it best game
It was kind of a slow year but all the same

Licensed Tetris to a businessman from EA
To make it for a cell phone
That went away
Cuz Tetris is magic, pure and clean
You’ll still see it and hear it but without the screen

(Do you like rotating Tetrominos?)
Tetris is all magic, you can’t even pause it
(Are you placing and dropping Tetrominos?)
It’s just there in the air
(Do you like rotating Tetrominos?)
Pure motherfuckin’ magic
(Are you placing and dropping Tetrominos?)
This shit’ll blow your motherfuckin’ mind

Tetris that’s a bit like Rez, that’s more appealing
Blocks can fill the room from the floor to the ceiling
Find tetrominos all around me
Put on my VR hat, it’s all astounding

Oughta … try ‘n … be an expert
Fucking T-spins, how to they work?
And I don’t wanna talk to a journalist
Y’all rolling eyes and sighing, when playing Tetris

Background effects, and changing weather
Stacking those Tetraminos together
Thank you Enhance, for bringing us this
Colliding planets, and moments of panic
Deep in the ocean or up on a mountainside
Out in space on a satellite
Tetsuya Mizuguchi made Sega Rally
For games we enjoy, he’s still the daddy
Music synchronised with each block you put
And firework displays if you take a look
See eagles soar, the ocean floor

Forests and windmills and several more
The Tetris Company is the corporation
Defend the brand with their litigation
So you can play Alexey’s creation
Sticking to their guidelines without deviation
Zone Mode
Your score is toast
Up on the leaderboard
I don’t mean to a boast
It’s Tetris Effect and there ain’t no way
To ignore synesthesia when you play
In Unreal

(Do you like rotating Tetrominos?)
Graphics everywhere in this bitch
(Are you placing and dropping Tetrominos?)
It’s all around you, you don’t even know it
(Do you like rotating Tetrominos?)
Shit’s crazy
(Are you placing and dropping Tetrominos?)
(All the tetrominos, stack ’em like dominoes)

(Do you like rotating Tetrominos?)
(Do you make lines from Tetrominos?)
(Are you placing and dropping Tetrominos?)
(All the tetrominos, they taste like Domino’s…)

More Marioke songs

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


↑ back to top ↑