“The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll”

Posted at 17:13 on 27th November 2022 - permalink

The first of two new songs contributed this month to the Maraoke video game karaoke songlist – first performed 19/11/2022.

A song about the puritanical “wholesome games” cult (now thankfully mostly abandoned) that sprang up a couple of years ago.

Finding a satisfying replacement for the “jumping frog” line remains a challenge (“lump in frogs”? “lumpen frogs”? “cats and frogs”?).

“Wow So Quirky”
– after “The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll” by Prefab Sprout

La la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la

Bored of Call of Duty Ghosts
Now I’d like to give a toast
To the pastel-coloured crap
that’s jaunty

Do not look for guns and tanks
There’s just touchy-feely wank
All these games are fucking whole
-some, sweetie

Made from
uWus
by weeaboos

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wow so quirky

Steam helps you collect
these games violence reject
Run a cafe or a farm
Chibi

Have to play to earn my keep,
my landlord a tanuki
For the animals I have
are crossing

Cute boom
No Doom
Head empty (baby)

(Hot Dog!)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wow so quirky

(I say it boy)

Fine for the family!
Frog solving crimes there’s a frog solving crimes oh yeah

Wholesome like Bambi!
Beast breaking mice we got beast breaking mice oh yeah

Now the kids like this a lot
and they may understand TikTok
But I still find words like ‘smol’
unseemly

I could leave behind this cult
Time to act like an adult
And play something from Devol-
-ver, l33tly

(Hot Dog!)

Neck drugs
Stomp on thugs
I feel dirty

Now you’re wholesome

Gamers are angry!
Frog solving crimes there’s a frog solving crimes oh yeah

Wholesome is dandy!
Beast breaking mice we got beast breaking mice oh yeah

(Oh yeah yeah)

(H-h-hot dog)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wow so quirky

(I’m ready baby)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wow so quirky

(I say it boy)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wow so quirky

(Supremely fuckin’ whole-)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wow so quirky (Yeah!)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs
Wooow so quirky!

(Supremely fuckin’ whole-)

Pet dogs
Look some frogs

“Wow so quirky.”